Addictive behavior is governed by the rule of diminishing returns. That means that, as time goes by, it takes more and more of a behavior or a riskier behavior to get the same “high” or feeling of relief.
Little by little, as the behaviors escalate, the addiction begins to take over our life. Almost like a remake of a bad sci-fi movie, the “body snatcher” increasingly permeates our thoughts, until there is little time for anything else.
Before he started going to counseling for his sexual addiction, my husband estimates that he got to where 98% of his waking hours (and a good share of his “sleeping ones”) were actively spent on his addiction. If he wasn’t actually acting out, he was lost in fantasies or thinking about when and how he was going to get another chance to pursue his addictive behaviors.
Once he got into recovery and began to have a little success, he found he had more and more days, and eventually even weeks, that he didn’t act out or even have a desire to act out. Even though he had a lot more work to do before he would find complete freedom, these initial efforts began to free up time and brain space for him to think about and experience a variety of other things. He began to revisit some of the activities he used to enjoy before the addiction became such a glutton of his time. He had the energy to try some new things and develop new friendships. He was able to start learning to enjoy life again instead of constantly looking over his shoulder in fear that his secret life would be discovered.
If you’re not yet at that place where your addiction has eclipsed everything else in your life, you have a lot to be grateful for. It’s no fun! But, no matter where you are right now, it’s time to take back whatever the enemy has already stolen from you. You deserve better than the path you’ve been on!
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”—Psalm 51:11-13 (NIV)
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