Oh, to live the “victorious life” . . . to be on top of things . . .to feel like we are “winning” at the game of life. Doesn’t that sound grand? But most of the people I talk to aren’t quite feeling that. They’re discouraged. They’re feeling a little lost. Some even admit to being completely overwhelmed by their struggles.
The few that do feel that they are living the victorious life all seem to have something in common. They speak of the importance of the connections in their lives that bring them great joy and create a form of accountability.
Whoa, wait a minute there!
Most of us cringe when we hear the word “accountability.” After all, who needs a graceless warden in their life? Who wants yet ANOTHER person trying to tell them what to do? Who wants their every moment scrutinized and criticized? Do we want to be treated like a bad child every time we don’t measure up? Of course not!
But, is that really what accountability is? Is our vision of the role of an accountability partner really accurate?
What is accountability?
The dictionary defines accountability as “the quality or state of being accountable. An obligation or willingness to accept responsibility for one’s actions.” Accepting responsibility? What does that really look like?
It’s realizing that only WE are in charge of our actions, our choices, AND our recovery. Nobody made us do the things we did. And no one can make the decision to change those thoughts and behaviors but US. A big part of accepting responsibility is courageously admitting that we can’t, in ourselves, know everything, see everything and take care of everything.
We must come to terms with the fact that we have weak areas and blind spots. We can’t always recognize when we’re heading for trouble. Sometimes we can’t even be sure whether what we’re thinking or feeling is the truth or a lie.
What can we do about that? It sounds hopeless.
Taking responsibility means realizing that, because of this, we all need to develop a true friend (or friends) that we allow to get to know us well enough that they can watch our backs. Someone who can sound a warning when we’re stumbling into territory that we have told them is dangerous for us.
We need another set of eyes to help us see the things we’re missing. Another pair of ears to confirm that what we’re hearing is true. Hands to help lift us up when we are emotionally or spiritually exhausted. An encourager . . . a supporter . . . someone who cares enough about us to risk telling us the truth when we may not want to hear it.
Accountability is not giving up control of our life. It is, in truth, taking responsibility for it and enlisting a band of brothers (or sisters) to walk beside us as we move toward better days ahead.
God never intended for us to do life without these important people. Past experiences, however, may have made us overly cautious about getting too close to anyone. Unfortunately, our life will never feel quite complete — or victorious — until we begin to develop that special kind of support.
“If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NIV)
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