At some point, nearly all of us have attempted to find the best deal on a new computer. I, for one, have always found it to be a frustrating endeavor. It’s nearly impossible to compare one to another, because no two are exactly alike. Even the same model in different stores will have slightly different features. One has a bigger hard drive. Another comes with a software bundle that the others don’t have. A similar one is faster, but it doesn’t have a DVD drive. There are so many different configurations that it is difficult to figure out which is actually the best value.
In the same way, it’s impossible to effectively compare human beings. Every person is slightly different. Some are blondes. Others have dark hair. One is chubby, another stick thin. There are math whizzes, athletes, gifted artists and brainiacs. There are those with weak eyes, irritating laughs, endearing smiles or a keen sense of smell. Some seem born pessimistic and cranky, while others are perpetually optimistic, incredibly hospitable, or musically blessed. Every single person was created with a different set of qualities and gifts.
In our quest to feel acceptable and valuable we always seem to be looking for something to validate us. . . to measure us. There are some theories that sensationalistic “talk” shows gained popularity for this very reason. These shows have a way of making us feel better about ourselves. We can take comfort in the fact that, no matter what our issues are, “at least we’re not as bad as those Jerry Springer guests.”
Even in recovery we are tempted to compare ourselves to others. Did we stoop lower than that other person in our addiction? Are they more screwed up? Are we “getting it” faster than they are? Do we have more clean time? We sometimes even seek solace in the idea that at least we didn’t do what they did.
Trying to compare ourselves to others is a waste of energy because:
1. Our value does not come from being “better” than someone else. The Bible says we were ALL fearfully and wonderfully made. — Psalm 139:13-15
2. We all come physically different. Short or tall, rail-thin or slightly chubby, skin color, eye color, stamina, etc. There is very little we can do to change most of it. — Luke 12: 25; Matthew 5:36
3. We are all gifted differently according to God’s plan for us. We each have our own place and function in the body of Christ. — Romans 12:4-8
Each of us is unique. There is no one better at being US than we are. We have our own strengths and weaknesses, talents and lacks. No matter how much we admire another person, we can never become them. If we do try to emulate them, the best we can ever expect to attain is a weak imitation of the real thing. Being an “almost” will never bring us the satisfaction that we seek.
Although we can never be a good enough them, we are already the very best US ever. No one can ever take our place. Instead of trying to determine how we measure up to others, we will reap much more benefit in focusing on ourselves, working on “our own stuff” and following the path that is set before us. As one person summed it up:
The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. — unknown
“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us . . .” — 2 Corinthians 10:12-13
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