Be the Man You WANT to Be With Gratitude

What’s so magical about gratitude?

How could something as simple as being thankful help us to not be that man anymore?

So often I have heard men that struggle with addiction—especially sexual addiction—say that they don’t want to be THAT man anymore. They want to be done with the secrets, the failures, and continually hurting the people they care about the most. But how?

Our society, in general, seems to be becoming increasingly sexualized, pessimistic and hurtful. How can we not get swept up in that huge tide, especially when we already struggle with an addiction that actually feeds on those things?


We mentioned that there are four skills that we can develop that will help us break from the status quo and free us to become the kind of person we yearn to be. The first is to become aware of the difference between lust and love and consciously choose to learn to love fully and well,  instead of automatically defaulting to lust to get our “needs” met.

The second skill involves another choice— the choice to look for things to be grateful for. Practicing gratitude will change us in ways we could ever imagine.

Focusing on what we don’t have, or how bad or unfair our life has been is counterproductive. It will only move us toward jealousy and resentment. It’s nearly impossible to keep from getting angry if we are continually thinking about how we have been cheated.

Much of the anger that is being displayed in our country right now, is due to people fixating on the idea that someone has gotten, or is getting, a better deal than they have. Anger clouds our thinking and creates a dangerous sense of entitlement within us. Almost without exception entitlement provides an excuse to get something that isn’t good for us in ways that are harmful to both us and those around us.


When we refuse to entertain those “cheated and mistreated” thoughts about what we don’t have, and turn our focus to what we DO have, it’s impossible for that resentment or entitlement to grow. Hence, we will begin to clearly see God’s hand, blessings and love in our lives. It creates humbleness and awe. It changes us from the inside out.

Melody Beattie, a well-known self-help author captured just a glimpse of its life-changing capacity in this writing”

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order,
confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend.”
—Melody Beattie

Because of this, a good rule for us all to live by is “never let the things we WANT, make us forget the things we HAVE.”

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  — Philippians 4:8 (NIV)  

TODAY’S CHAT: What are you most grateful for today? Please consider sharing those items in the comment box below.

1 Comment

  • Jon Beaty

    Reply Reply August 19, 2016

    I’m grateful for the end of he work week and the opportunity to rest and enjoy time with my wife and kids.

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