How Telling Secrets Will Improve Your Life

Most of us are familiar with the story of Adam and Eve . . . but do you know what they did that virtually every person that struggles with an addiction or compulsion has done as well?

If you recall, everything was going fine and dandy. Adam and Eve were reveling in the abundance and beauty of Eden and their relationship with their creator . . . until they decided to eat the darn apple (or whatever the “forbidden” fruit actually was.)  That one choice changed everything. The book of Genesis describes what happened next: “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they HID from the Lord God among the trees of the garden . . .” Genesis 3:8

From the earliest times, the natural human response to sin and its subsequent shame is to hide.  We hide things from our closest friends. We hide things from our dearest family members. As bizarre as it is  . . . we sometimes even try to hide things from God and ourselves.

As compulsive sexual behaviors were gaining control in my husband’s life, he remembers the intense loneliness that the secrets and hiding created AND the constant fear he had that someone would find out about his “activities.”

Bruce also remembers vividly the day God told him he needed to talk to another person about his struggles. Even though his relationship with God had been becoming more and more distant, he knew in his heart that God was, indeed, speaking to him at that moment. Although it scared him to death, part of him knew he was hearing truth.

It took him years to actually get up the courage to do what God had requested of him, but little by little, as he did, he discovered that the more he was able to let go of his secrets, the less isolated he became. God began to bring people into his life that would end up being very significant in his recovery journey. The more he risked being honest with God and the people around him, the less power the addiction seemed to hold.

Many people have shared that when they finally climbed over their MOUNTAIN of fears and risked finding a safe person to talk to, it felt like an actual, tangible weight had been lifted off their shoulders. The relief was so great that most of them kicked themselves for waiting so long.

We’re always excited in a counseling session when we hear someone preface their story with “I’ve never told anyone this before . . .” because we know what a great relief and blessing releasing that burdensome secret will be for them.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.     — James 5:16 (NIV)

What, if anything, is still keeping you from confessing any remaining secrets to a trusted confidante? What can you do TODAY to move you closer to being able to talk about it?


  • Jon Beaty

    Reply Reply January 22, 2016


    Thanks for encouraging people to free themselves from their secrets. My 12 year old son was having a problem with lying yesterday. Fortunately, my wife and I knew he was hiding from the truth. We persisted in encouraging him to share his secret, and then the Holy Spirit got through to him. When he finally let it go and let the truth come out, we could see the weight of defending a lie come off his shoulders. When we know someone’s hiding from the truth, if we could all be more like God and help them let the light in, there’d be a lot fewer people living in darkness.

    • janet

      Reply Reply January 27, 2016

      Jon, Thanks for sharing your story about your son. You are SO right. Secrets are a heavy burden to carry. We’re so afraid to let them into the light, but when we do, there is such freedom to be found.

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