The Most Dangerous Habit

It’s happening everywhere. Turn on the news. Listen to your friends. It’s not new, but it seems to be gaining traction—and it is destroying lives. What could this insidious propensity be?

It’s blaming.

Yep! The habit, or compulsion, or whatever it has become, to blame someone else for every negative thing that happens is hurting all of us much more than we know.

I realize that humans have always had a bent toward blaming. Hey, according to the Bible, it’s been around since Adam. But, it seems to be getting worse. When something happens the first thing out of people’s mouths is “Who’s fault is it?” Often before the facts are even known, the blame is attached to someone or something. It’s the fault of the car manufacturer, it’s the fault of the store that sold the product, it’s the fault of mom or dad or the full moon. At the very least, we want the world to know that our plight is because of them. Sometimes we want even more. We want them to pay somehow for their alleged “crime” against us—with their life, their reputation or their resources.

If someone is actually willfully negligent or malevolent, of course restitution should be required, but that’s an entirely different situation. Far more often we use blaming as a simple excuse for our situation, behavior or bad choices. “I got fired because my boss is a creep,” “I’m addicted today, because I had a controlling father,” “I do porn because my wife gained weight.” As soon as we find someone to blame, we become a victim. There is nothing left to do but be angry, feel sorry for ourselves, and stay stuck.

“When you  blame others, you give up the power to change.”   —Robert Anthony

Without a doubt, I’ve been wronged and hurt by others many times in my life. Often that hurt was deep and unwarranted and shook me to my core. Things haven’t always gone the way I wanted them to. There have been times where my first instinct was to find something to blame, but every time I do, I choose to be a helpless, hopeless victim.

If, instead, I look for my part in it all, whether it was a bad choice, an unfortunate mistake, or a wrong attitude, the doors for change swing open. With God’s help I can change me. I can learn to make better choices, I can forgive myself for my mistakes and, when possible, make them right, I can change my outlook and attitudes. Doing or thinking differently helps erase the old wounds and disappointments and will ultimately create new and different outcomes and opportunities in the future. It has the power to totally restore my hope for a better tomorrow.

As long as we choose to keep blaming, we are sabotaging ourselves and aligning with the enemy’s plan to keep us miserably stuck with what we have right at this moment. I think we deserve more. YOU deserve more!