Everyone struggling with the tightening grip of addiction quickly becomes familiar with addiction’s constant companion and best friend FEAR.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, fear is a thread that is woven through every facet of ALL addictions. Even though many of us don’t outwardly “do” fear, almost all compulsive behavior is simply a way to avoid the awareness of our fears and the double binds that they produce. At some point in our life, an underlying fear or fears first created an environment in us that readily accepted the “relief” that acting out provided. For some of us that fear was the fear of rejection, for others it was the fear of living with the pain of traumatic memories or never receiving the things that their souls cried out for.
To compound the problem, the secrets that addictive behaviors create breed even more fears—the fear that someone will find out about our double life; the fear that our whole life may come crashing in on us at any moment; or perhaps, the fear of being shamed or shunned. The list goes on and on.
We may not be aware that we give power to every one of the things we fear. In other words, the things we fear control us.
God wants us to fear only HIM, because His control in our life will be benevolent and beneficial. All of our other fears paralyze our potential, take away our ability to freely give and receive love and result in isolation and stuckness. Our fears cause struggles. Our struggles cause fear. It’s a frustrating cycle.
It makes logical sense that if we could somehow reduce our fears, our need ot act out would diminish, but we seem unable to make that happen.
A brief passage from our recently published book, Now Choose Life!, gives a tiny glimpse into the only way that those fears and, subsequently, our urge to act out will be removed:
“All too often, there is a belief that once you have given your life to Christ, all your struggles should go away The basis of this comes from a misunderstanding of the distinct difference between salvation and sanctification.
Salvation is a free gift that God gives to each one of us. By simply acknowledging Him as our savior, instead of relying on ourselves, he offers us eternal life and the promise of heaven. Sanctification, however is the lifelong process of becoming more like Christ. It is hard work that comes only through learning to trust God and others with our deepest fears and most shameful secrets.”
“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you life in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.” —Romans 8:15 (NIV)
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