The Danger of Over-Spiritualization in Recovery

We’ve all seen timid little children hiding behind their mom or dad. They peek out from time to time, but the minute they realize they’ve been seen, they pull back into their place of protection. They don’t have to deal with the big scary world with their parental shield in place.

Often we, as adults, do this too. Except now it’s not mom or dad we’re hiding behind, we’ve brought out the bigger guns. Although I’m a little hesitant to bring this up for fear of being misunderstood, this strategy keeps many people stuck, so it needs to be explored.

I haven’t kept it a secret that I’m a Christian. I believe in God . . . and salvation . . . and grace. I believe that God can change the hearts of men and women in a way that trying harder can never quite do . . . but I’ve also seen people hiding BEHIND God, just like those little children hide from the world behind their mama’s skirts.

Whether you’re or Christian or not, you’ve probably encountered people that, at first, seem very devout. Every issue or situation that comes up in their life is quickly discarded with an affirmation or scripture. Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with scripture or affirmations. They can bring abundant peace, comfort and truth into our lives.

My struggle is with people using spiritual sounding cliches to avoid dealing with their issues in an honest way. Instead of acknowledging their underlying need, fear, responsibility or hurt, they just slap a “scripture bandage” on the wound and they’re good to go. Problem over.

But it’s not. Nothing has changed. The same old baggage or misperception is still there, because they never resolved a thing. They only managed to avoid looking at the uncomfortable, acknowledging their lack, or taking responsibility for their mistakes.

It’s similar to answering the “how are you doing” question with “fine” when you know you are absolutely NOT fine. It’s a way to avoid talking about what’s really going on. It’s also a way to stay stuck. We have cheated ourselves out the the encouragement, empathy or resources that that person may have been able to provide to us if we had just chosen to be honest. But we also didn’t have to admit our weakness or our need and, in a weird way, that felt safer.

When we get in the habit of throwing out a scripture or an affirmation, even if they are totally true, to avoid looking at the reality of our heart, soul or situation, we cheat ourselves out of the healing and help that God, or his people, could have provided if we’d only been willing to get honest about our deepest needs and fears.

“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”     —Andre´ Malraux