Many of us decided early in our life that having needs were dangerous. In the past our needs and desires may have been used against us; criticized as sinful or inappropriate; or seen as a sign of weakness or a cause for punishment. Others of us may have had even our most basic needs ridiculed or ignored altogether.
However it happened, we began to divorce ourselves from those needs. We covered them up, afraid that they would somehow make us unacceptable. We tried (often subconsciously) to manipulate people and situations in an attempt to get what we needed. If that didn’t work we began to chase after other things—prestige, power, money, new “toys” . . . even sex, in hopes that it would somehow make up for what we didn’t have.
A part of becoming healthy involves reconnecting with those original needs. Little by little we can learn to be honest, even with ourselves, and admit that we have things we require and that it is totally normal and OK. We learn to find our voice and develop healthy and effective ways of getting the things that are essential to our well-being. It requires taking risks and feels scary at first, but over time it leads to a new freedom.
When our TRUE needs are being recognized and addressed, our frantic yearning to feel satiated will finally come to an end.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” —Matthew 7:7-9 (NIV)
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