Last week we started a discussion about The Three Warning Signs of Impending Relapse. As addiction counselors, we often hear people say that they had been doing so well and then “all of a sudden” they found themselves back in their old addictive behaviors.
In actuality, relapses are rarely instantaneous. There are almost always warning signs that were missed. This week we’re going to zero in on the three signs that seem to be the most common. The majority of those who do relapse will encounter one (or all) of these three. Learning to recognize them before they become a problem will increase the likelihood of being able to avoid the next potential relapse.
The first thing that generally slips away is our accountability. It’s seldom malicious avoidance. Stuff just happens. Accountability partners move away; schedules change; we get too busy to meet; we get lazy about being totally honest. Sometimes, when things are going well, we just forget what an important role those relationships play in KEEPING things going well. It’s imperative that we remain proactive in maintaining these relationships or, if necessary, building new “replacement” ones. It is absolutely crucial to our long term success.
The enemy WANTS us to be isolated. We are much more vulnerable to his lies and influence without other people in our lives to encourage, support, and provide another set of eyes to help notice—maybe even before we do—when we’ve forgotten our priorities and started to drift. Without these close friends that have become safe places to open up to and be transparent with, we are more likely to hold our thoughts and fears in instead of talking and praying through them with others. These unspoken issues quickly become secrets that hold power over us and keep us stuck in a downward spiral.
Take a moment to think about your current relationships. Are you meeting regularly with your accountability partners? Do you have people you can (and do) share deeply with about your feelings and fears? Are there at least a few individuals on this planet that know everything there is to know about you? Are you keeping them current about what’s going on with you NOW? If not, you are in danger of relapsing.
As scary as it is, we need to surround ourselves with people that we can be completely open and honest with. It’s part of what keeps us moving forward on the recovery path.
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)
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