Not the End . . . Another Step

Failure is not the end. There is a tendency to see recovery as a pass or fail exercise. We often look at it as if there are only two outcomes: we are either 100% successful or 100% a failure. In truth, there are many more shades of gray in recovery than that black and white thinking allows.

I’m not saying that it’s OK to be on the fence about your recovery or intentionally play fast and loose with temptation. It’s imperative that we determine in our hearts that we are 100% committed to working on our recovery and staying as far away as we can from our known triggers and temptations. It’s essential that we keep our eyes fixed steadily on the goal. But, there are times when even the most dedicated people stumble.

If we take the attitude that anything short of perfection is failure, we risk becoming defeated or even giving up before we find the freedom that we seek. But if we, instead, view slips as important learning tools they can help us:

• remember the enormity of what’s on the line
• gain clarity about what we should and should not do
• discover where we went wrong and why
• become aware of former blind spots and new realizations

Although it is, of course, preferable to avoid slips, altogether, if you ever find yourself revisiting old behaviors, don’t waste the pain. Use it as an opportunity to gain new insights.

1. Quickly acknowledge that you have stumbled. Resist the tendency to cover it up, make excuses or blame others for your behaviors.
2. If you committed any sins, confess them to God, and receive his forgiveness. Even though you may feel unworthy or ineligible, his promise is for you.
3. Examine what was happening just prior to and at the time of the slip. What were you doing?, feeling?, or fearing? Ask God to show you what you need to know about what was going on.
4. Once you have discovered all you can from the event, put it behind you and move ahead. Forgive yourself and re-commit yourself to recovery. Don’t let yourself get stuck.

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” —Philippians 3:13 (The Message)