“Normies”

When I first met my husband, he often spoke of his disdain for “normies.” In his mind, anyone who wasn’t in recovery from something was a “normy”. He believed that they were “normal” but he, because of his chronic battle with addiction, was not.

He didn’t trust normies. He was convinced that they wouldn’t, or couldn’t, understand him or his struggles. He was afraid that they would judge him. He felt he had very little in common with them and, therefore, wasn’t willing to go out of his way to get to know them. He didn’t want to leave the comfort zone that those that struggled in the same way he did, provided. Since he and I met in a divorce recovery group, he must have figured that I was messed up enough to take a risk on.

But, if we really want to become healthy people, we NEED to spend time with other reasonably healthy people. We need to practice interacting with them. We need to listen and learn from them. We need their perspective and input in our lives. We need them to help us see what an emotionally healthy lifestyle looks like.

And, as much as it may surprise us, they need to learn and gain understanding from us, as well. Some of those normies are avoiding  struggles, secrets, and brokenness of their own. Our transparency may give them the courage to reach out for help. Others have a lack of empathy for those with compulsive behaviors, because they simply don’t have a framework for understanding what they are experiencing. If they are willing to listen, our life’s story can provide the insight that they’ve been missing.

It has often been said that recovery is learning to trust again. Don’t be surprised if God brings a few “normies” across your path to help you in that effort.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” —Proverbs 15:22