“Our story is never written in isolation. We do not act in a one-man play. We can do nothing that does not affect other people, no matter how loudly we say, “It’s my own business.”
― Madeleine L’Engle, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art
We, as a society, have become an extremely self-focused people. In most cases our first thoughts are about ourselves, and not about others. Are WE feeling good? Are WE getting enough? Are WE feeling safe? . . . loved? . . . treated fairly?
This single-mindedness eventually blinds us to the fact that every one of our decisions and actions affect all those around us in some way. Over time we begin to lose the ability to even see outside ourselves. We start to actually think of ourselves as an island with no connection or responsibility to those beyond our personal “borders”.
Part of recovery is becoming aware that there are “other people in the room.” It requires asking God to help us have eyes to see. It means inviting others to tell us how our choices are affecting them. It means forcing ourselves to dismiss the denial we so desperately want to hide behind and actually hear and acknowledge that we have caused pain. It means asking forgiveness for those we have hurt. It means making ongoing room for the feelings and needs of others.
It’s difficult to change such deeply engrained habits and beliefs . . . but the rewards are great. We will finally feel the vital connections that we didn’t even know we were yearning for.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others about yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” —Philippians 2: 3-4
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