My Dad has Alzheimer’s. Although he still recognizes us most days, his thoughts are a jumble, he can seldom find the right words to express himself, and his memory has major holes in it. Earlier this year it finally came to the point that we had to find long term care for him.
At first, leaving the home he had lived in for over 60 years was very difficult for him. In his impaired condition he was struggling to make sense of it all. He was often agitated, angry or crying. He asked 100’s of questions . . . and came up with at least that many theories, explanations, and plans.
There came a point in time, however, when he quit struggling to figure out what was happening, why it was happening, and what he was going to do next. His anxiety gave way to a simple resignation. These days, he often says “I just don’t know.” He has become comfortable with not knowing how it’s all going to play out. He is at peace and is most often happy with his new situation and trusting that, in his words “it’ll be good.”
I have watched this transition and reflected on how similar it is to what we all need. We need to stop struggling with our situations, stop trying to predict what and how things will happen, stop begging God to do it our way and just get comfortable with “I don’t know, and that’s OK.”
I don’t know the whys. I don’t know how to fix the things that haunt and hurt me or the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I don’t know what God ultimately has planned for me, and I certainly don’t know his timetable.
But, I DO take comfort in the fact that since I have invited God to take control of my life, there IS a plan and I’m not just drifting through this life, aimlessly. Even more importantly, I know who is directing that plan and who is able to work out all the details in the best possible way for everyone involved. I am confident that there is a reason for everything I experience, even if I can’t see it now.
Isn’t that what faith is . . . acknowledging that “WE don’t know” and continually surrendering the outcomes and the future to the one that does?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
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