There is a common belief that “once an addict, always an addict.” The consensus is that, although you may be able to learn to manage an addiction, it will always be there waiting for an opportunity. It will require a constant battle to stay away from those old behaviors—just one slip and you’ll be off and running wild in the addiction once again. And, in the secular world, where our only help is man’s wisdom and our own self-reliance, there may actually be some truth in this thinking.
But is it true for Christians as well? In the early days of our marriage my husband and I often wrestled with that question. He had been told to expect to always be haunted, on some level, by his addictive tendencies and his experiences up to that point were proving it true. He had had a lot of counseling, gained a lot of information and understanding, but still struggled with periodic slips.
The whole issue confused me. In my early days as a Christian I had been taught “For with God nothing shall be impossible” (Luke 1:37 KJV). If sexual addiction (or any addiction) was truly unconquerable, it would seem to contradict this passage. The way I figured it, either God’s word was true or it wasn’t. Either God could completely heal and restore . . . or he couldn’t. But which was it?
Today, my husband will be the first to tell you that you can indeed be TOTALLY free. His perseverance in recovery and God’s abundant grace have brought him to the point where he has been truly free for years. The desire to act out is gone. On the rare occasion that a thought pops into his mind, it is easily dismissed. No battle. No white-knuckling. Just gratitude that the “monster” no longer has control.
He will likely always have a vulnerability in that area, but that is different than still being an addict. He is no longer enticed by the addiction. The neuro-pathways that were created in his brain through years of repetitive acting out are still there . . . but God, as he has moved him toward more and more healing, has forged detours around those old pathways that lead in healthier directions. Over time the original paths become harder and harder to access. If you really sought them out you could probably find hints of where they go and if, in doing so, you intentionally made the choice to travel that way again, they could certainly be brought back to life . . . but it would take a very conscious and determined effort to go against the newer and now stronger healthy paths.
“So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” —John 8:36 (NIV)
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