What an interesting weekend. Saturday morning my husband and I were invited to display information about our sexual addiction recovery ministry at a local End the Demand forum presented by the Whatcom Coalition Against Trafficking. I had met the leader of the Coalition only the weekend before at a woman’s retreat. When she found out about our sexual addiction recovery ministry, she graciously invited us to join them. The way it all came about was definitely a “God thing.”
The event woke us up to a number of facts:
- sex trafficking is a much greater issue in our sleepy little town than we had ever imagined.
- some very fascinating work is being done on both the national and more local levels to change both societal views about the sex trade, as well as the lives of some of those that have been victimized by its existence.
- we need to step up our own educational efforts about the truths about sexual addiction
We wholeheartedly support the idea of helping women leave prostitution and giving them the insights and tools to move toward a freer more satisfying life, but not at the cost of demonizing their customers. We heard some EXCELLENT speakers, many of whom understood the nature of sexual addiction and the reasons why addicts often end up seeking prostitutes, but many of the questions from the audience reinforced in our minds how little is known by the general public about sexual addiction.
There is little differentiation in their minds between the evil, heartless people that perpetuate the sex trade and violence against women, and the sensitive people like my husband who never intended to hurt anyone, but because of the progressive nature of addiction eventually found himself going against his very morals and values to frequent prostitutes. He has spoken of the odd sensation of feeling like he was almost outside of his body watching himself do things he never dreamed he could ever do. Was it wrong? Definitely! Was he sickened by his actions? Of course! But, like all the other addictive activities that had gone before, he felt powerless to resist it.
Most of the prostitutes have experienced past sexual, physical or emotional abuse (or all three). They are true victims. But, what most people don’t realize is that almost all of their customers have come from the same background. Almost without exception they, too, have been abused, physically, emotionally and often sexually. They are victims too.
Victims victimizing victims. Valuable, worthy people stuck in a very ugly cycle that totally steals their potential. It needs to stop. But, it will not happen by demonizing other victims. It will happen when we start to understand the complicated dynamics and reach out and minister to ALL the trapped ones. A change in our hearts will spark a change in theirs, as we come alongside and lead them all out of the darkness that threatens to swallow them.
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. — Galatians 5:13
Leave A Response