The following is an excerpt from our book “Now Choose Life! One Man’s Journey Out of the Grip of Pornography” by Janet K Wheeler ©2013
Bruce’s Story . . .
I was born and raised in a quiet little town in New York State just a stone’s throw from the Pennsylvania border. At one time it had been a bustling canal, railroad and industrial center, but by the time I was born, things had slowed down and the canal system near where we lived had long since been filled in. All that remained was a worn path that had been used by donkeys as they towed barges through the canals. That towpath made a perfect shortcut between my friend John’s house and mine and we used it often.
This particular day I was riding my bike. I was almost home—I probably didn’t have a 100 yards to go—when I happened to notice some bags tossed carelessly in the bushes beside the path. I swung my leg over the bike and coasted to a stop. I could feel my heart thumping hard in my chest as I gingerly peeked at the contents of the first mangled brown sack. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Women. Beautiful Women. NAKED Women. Page after page of the most exciting pictures I had ever seen. I could feel a warmth beginning to build deep within my groin. I had traveled on this well-worn path hundreds of times before, but I had never seen anything like this. My hands were shaking as my curiosity spurred me on.
Wow, I must be the luckiest 11-year-old on earth. Someone had left these magazines here and I was the one that found them. How cool! For a few fleeting moments I felt like I was on the top of the world . . . like I’d won the lottery or something . . . but then a wave of reality hit me with a force that nearly knocked me over. I looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching. “Nobody can know that I have these.
Where will I hide them? I have to have them. How can I get them into the house? Oh, boy, I’m REALLY going to hell now . . . there’s no escaping it.”
I didn’t know then that the exhilaration is ALWAYS followed by shame. Unfortunately, it was a cycle I came to know all too well over the next thirty years.
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Janet’s Observations . . .
Men’s attention is instinctively attracted to what they see. Whether they are channel surfing, flipping through a magazine or “checking out” a woman, they, by God’s design, are very visually motivated. Women, on the other hand, have traditionally been more enticed by what they hear and touch. They long to know that someone is connecting with them emotionally and/or physically.
A male’s propensity toward fixating on visual images, starts at a young age, Think about the last time you tried to get the attention of a little boy that was mesmerized by a bug or something on TV. It usually takes several attempts to pop them out of the trance-like state they’re in.
As a young boy of only four, Bruce remembers staring at women in their underwear in the Sears catalog. It certainly wasn’t a sexual thing at that point . . . but he still found something about these women interesting and attractive. He got enjoyment . . .comfort . . . pleasure . . . out of what he saw.
And then, at age eleven, Bruce stumbled upon a new caliber of visual stimuli and this time it WAS sexually charged. He discovered those sacks of porn at the exact age that most men later admit was the age they viewed their first pornography. It is a time of natural curiosity and changing hormones, and the enemy of our souls takes advantage of every opportunity he is given to set his hook and begin to reel these young men toward a life of spiraling destruction.
If you’d like to read more of Bruce’s story, the book is available here. Each chapter offers a unique balance of personal testimony, practical information and spiritual truth as we follow the down-to-earth story of the escalation of one man’s addiction; the impact of his compulsive behaviors on his wife and marriage; and the trials and triumphs of his recovery.
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