Addiction is ugly. Just speaking the word brings up all kinds of dark and desperate images. It’s no wonder people balk at admitting the intensity of their struggle.
Nobody wants to be known as an ADDICT. The resistance seems even stronger if their personal battle happens to be with sexual behaviors.
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
When something becomes an addiction we lose much of our ability to choose whether we will do it or not. We begin to feel like we NEED the substance or activity to help get through life. Cravings can become so strong that it actually feels like life or death to try to resist them.
Once something has become an addiction it is very difficult, if not impossible, to extricate yourself from it by yourself. The first step to freedom is to admit that you are losing control and need help. It is a difficult thing to do . . . but it is the only way to begin taking back your life.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF SEXUAL BEHAVIORS HAVE BECOME AN ADDICTION?
Not all inappropriate sexual behavior is indicative of sexual addiction. Having an affair or occasionally viewing pornography does not automatically classify someone as a sex addict. While all non-marital sexual activity is outside of God’s will and qualifies as sexual sin, it is not necessarily addictive.
Addiction specialists agree that certain elements must be present for a substance or behavior to be considered an addiction. To discern whether they are evident in your life, ask yourself these four questions:
- Have you ever found yourself repeating behaviors that you promised yourself you’d never do again? This is COMPULSION, the first indication that you may have a problem.
- Are you increasingly preoccupied with sexual thoughts: replaying in your mind what you’ve seen or done; thinking about when and how you’ll find the next opportunity; actively participating in your chosen behaviors? This is OBSESSION, another of the danger signs.
- Are you continuing your behaviors in spite of potential negative consequences? Are you, knowingly, risking your marriage, family, job, reputation or relationship with God? PERSISTENCE, in spite of possible dire outcomes, is a strong indicator that your behaviors have become an addiction.
- Are your behaviors becoming more risky, more “hard-core,” or more frequent? Does it seem to take more to get the same effect? An increasing TOLERANCE is a normal part of addiction
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, it is time to reach out and take action. Addiction only gets stronger over time.
THE GOOD NEWS
No one wants to have to admit that they are struggling with sexual addiction. You may feel embarrassment, shame, or even fear about taking that step but, in doing so, you can stop the inevitable downward spiral and begin to move toward freedom and a more satisfying life.
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do”
—Romans 7:15 (NIV)
Leave A Response