My grown son, who lives over an hour away from us, called one day, not so long ago, with distressing news. Evidently their Associate Pastor had been arrested and charged with commercial sex abuse of a minor for responding to an ad in a police teen prostitution sting. His family, the church and the entire community were in absolute shock.
The most unsettling thing, however, was the tone of the comments on the website of their local newspaper. Almost without exception, they were harsh and down-right mean-spirited. People used it as an opportunity to perpetuate the idea that Christians are all hypocrites and that this man was the most detestable form of life on the planet.
In the months since the incident, two respected middle-aged Christian men in our own community have also been arrested for having sex with teenagers in totally unrelated events. Their lives and families are in shambles. Their reputations and careers are ruined. The honor and respect these men once garnered has been replaced with public disgust and judgment.
Of course, I am not condoning any of these men’s choices or actions. They definitely need help. But I also don’t believe that they are the worst kind of hypocrites or ogres. They are simply broken in a way that causes much pain and heartbreak for both them and the ones that truly care about them.
I want to extend an open apology to all of you who are struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors. I’m sorry, that we live in such a highly sexualized society. Sorry that you can’t even watch television commercials without innuendos, and blatant sexuality being shoved in your face. Sorry that so few people take the time to understand what sexual addiction is and isn’t. Sorry that their harsh words and intense shaming make it even more difficult for those of you who are hungry for help to step forward.
We, admittedly, have a long, long way to go to educate even the Christian community on the truth about sexual addiction. Hopefully, over time, understanding will grow, but in the meantime, please don’t let the vile attitudes of clueless, judging people keep you from reaching out for help. Don’t let their accusations and shaming stop you from taking hold of the freedom you can find in Christ. Don’t let them be an excuse for staying stuck. God has SO much more he wants for you than this.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1
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