Most of us hold to a basic premise that love is “good,” lust is “bad.” But sexual addiction and society’s views about sex have a way of blurring the two and making it difficult to discern one from the other. How can you tell if what you’re feeling is love or just lust?
First, let’s see how other people describe the two:
LOVE
Wikipedia says “Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion and affection.”
The Dictionary describes love as “the unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.”
The Bible proclaims “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13;4-7)
Sounds good, doesn’t it? So what are they saying about lust?
LUST
Wikipedia says “Lust is a powerful psychological force producing intense wanting for an object or circumstance fulfilling the emotion. Many religions separate the definition of passion and lust by further categorizing lust as a type of passion for something that does not belong to oneself.”
The Dictionary describes lust as “a personal inclination, an intense or unbridled sexual desire, lasciviousness, an intense longing (craving). ”
The Bible says “for everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life—comes not from the Father, but from the world.” (1 John 2:16)
OK . . . that’s great, but how DO you tell if what you’re feeling is true love or just lust?
It all comes down to the motive of our heart.
LOVE is outwardly motivated. It focuses on “them” and “us.” It looks at what THEY need or what WE, together, need. This outward motivation is true even in our love relationship with God. When we accept Him as our Savior, we begin to consider His desires over our own.
LUST is the enemy’s counterfeit for love. It’s a trap. At first glance, it kinda seems like, love, but, yet, it doesn’t focus on the good of the other person—it is totally ego-centric. Lust is all about OUR needs and OUR desires. It feels good for a fleeting moment, but it ultimately leaves us empty, alone and looking for another hit to fill the aching hole inside us.
As “me-ism” and the whole idea of looking out for number one continue to increase, it is easy to see how our sexually-saturated society is moving further and further away from the concept of authentic love. We are becoming desensitized to the fact that we are being encouraged to be selfish, and are being cheated out of the most wonderful and fulfilling gift God has for us—love.
God has given us ways to protect ourselves from this dangerous trend:
- Learning to Love
- Practicing Gratitude
- Exposing our secrets (confession)
- Cultivating morally uplifting relationships that keep us from isolating.
Interesting enough, these are some of the very same things that will help provide freedom from addictive sexual behaviors.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” —Philippians 1:9-11
Leave A Response