Are struggles with porn or other compulsive sexual behaviors society’s fault? Admittedly, much of our culture has become overtly sexual. The majority of television commercials are packed with sexual innuendos; most men’s health, body building, and even car magazines look like soft-core porn; and women seem to be flaunting shorter skirts, tighter tops and deeper cleavage every day. Blatant sexuality seems to be EVERYWHERE.
But . . . how is it that some men hardly even seem to notice and others are forever being haunted and taunted by it? Are some guys just oversexed or somehow perverted? Or, is it the ones that aren’t so bothered that aren’t normal?
The truth is, your sexual struggles are not the fault of the attractive girl walking down the street, or even the steady diet of sexual images we are force-fed every time we turn around. Initially it was a non-sexual fear or feeling that pushed your “on” button and made you vulnerable to anything and everything sexual.
Men that are able to look the other way or “get over” their curiosity with porn, have never had that internal radar activated. Their brains aren’t continually searching, searching, searching for something to feed the ravenous hunger that has developed. In time that searching becomes an deep-seated habit, as well, but it is still those same old fears and feelings, and not the sexual images, that keep the radar’s batteries full charged.
Proverbs 27 says that “one’s life reflects the heart.” Many people assume that compulsions and addictions show a perverted, sinful heart, but that reflected image is more likely a distorted view of our reaction to a long-ignored pain or fear. The only way we can change that reflection, and shut down the radar forever, is to discover, with the help of God and others, what those non-sexual triggers really are.
“As water reflects the face—so one’s life reflects the heart.” —Proverbs 27:19
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