Addiction recovery (or life, for that matter) is full of fine lines. A little too much of a good thing can be harmful. We wrestle with how much is OK. Where is that line, anyway? Have we already crossed it without even realizing it?
One of the most challenging balancing acts in recovery relates to self-effort. Of course we have to work at recovery. Of course we need to try hard to make changes in our lives. But, in spite of our best efforts, we always seem to eventually end up falling. When we’ve tried to look to others to provide the answer, we’ve been met with reminders that “other people can’t do recovery for us” and, as for God, we have certainly asked Him a thousand times to take this curse from us, but yet we still struggle. So where do we turn?
Like so many things, it starts with a change in thinking. So often when we get a glimpse of where we want to be (or think we should be) we begin to make a list of all the things we need to do to get there. Although the thought process has its benefits, a to-do list puts the whole burden to make it happen on our shoulders. We will only be able to achieve success when we’re feeling strong, clear-headed and self-disciplined. Unfortunately, because we’re human, we all experience days when those traits are nowhere to be found. We’re stressed. We’re vulnerable. We’re overwhelmed. What then? Most often the to-do list gets put on the back burner, and we slowly, often unknowingly, begin to move back toward the old automatic thinking that supports our unwanted behaviors. A to-do list, alone, doesn’t change our hearts.
Rather than a to-do list, consider prayerfully making a list of the outcomes you desire (goals). A goal carries an unspoken commitment to moving in that direction. We no longer have to rely on our own strength alone. There are certainly things WE will need to do, but the idea of pursuing a goal also leaves room for God and others to provide help and direction along the way.
Our first step each day is an act of surrender, as we ask God to show us what we can do today to move one step closer to the desired outcome. As He walks us through the process, our hearts will change as well as our behaviors.
“You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.—Psalm 59:17
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