Our lives are full of double binds—those seemingly lose-lose situations where none of our options are appealing— and yet not making a decision seems to be a doomed decision in itself. Addictions are often ways of avoiding the negative emotions attached to these frequent situations.
This leads us directly to one of the biggest double binds we will ever face:
Do we reach out and tell someone about our struggle?
Do we dare ask for help? If other people know about our behavior, they will surely think less of us. They might even reject us or spread the news to others. We could end up ostracized and alone. But . . . if we DON’T reach out for help and support and just keep trying to quit by ourselves, we are likely to continue to have the same dismal results that we’ve had so many, many times before. We will continue to be trapped in a chaotic, shame-filled, Jekyll and Hyde life.
So what can we do? Neither choice seems desirable. Both hold the potential of more pain. But, there is a significant difference between the two. Asking for help is a pain that leads to life and freedom. The other equally painful choice offers us only death—spiritually, emotionally, socially and maybe even physically.
Reaching out for help; admitting your struggle; becoming vulnerable is, indeed, difficult and uncomfortable. But it is the right thing to do. It is, ultimately, the road to freedom and a better life.
“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But, if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” Genesis 4:6-8 (NIV)
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