If you’re really serious about changing your behaviors, there is one very important question that demands an answer: “why do I keep doing what I tell myself I’m not going to do?” There IS a reason. No one risks all the potential negative consequences for nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s simply because you’re bad, or weak, or a special kind of sinner. There is something real and painful that you’re trying to avoid, numb or prove through your compulsive behaviors.
You will need the help of God and others to help you find the answer, but once you have been able to name it, the path to recovery will begin to unfold before you. Nothing short of rooting out the things that fuel your compulsive behavior will bring you the permanent change you desire.
The following excerpt from our sexual addiction recovery book Now Choose Life takes a closer look at this idea:
“There are many popular therapy methods that promote behavioral change alone. All too often addicts that have some success at ‘white knuckling’ for a period of time mistakenly think they have been healed using the techniques that have been offered.
Unfortunately, the truth is that they become either a walking time bomb, ready to explode back into their addiction whenever the pressures of life break down their stubborn resolve not to act out, of an asexual being that finds a new compulsion like alcohol, drugs, gambling or work to numb them out and relieve their unwanted feelings.
Without dealing with the core issues that caused the addiction in the first place, the addict will always need something to keep them from feeling the pain.”
“…Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” — James 1:3-5 (NIV)
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