We’re only days away from Valentine’s Day—the celebration of love and romance. The stores are filled with hearts and flowers and candy. It seems like a big deal to a lot of folks, but it can sometimes be a confusing occasion for those struggling with sexual addiction.
One year we noticed that Valentine’s Day was going to fall on the regular meeting night of our men’s sexual addiction recovery group. The week before “the big day”, we inquired asto whether attending the next meeting would be a problem for any of them. The question was met with a lot of confused looks. After a few moments one brave soul asked “why?” We responded “Because next week is Valentine’s Day. We thought you might have plans with your wives or girlfriends.” The only response we got was “oh . . . Valentine’s Day . . . I just don’t get that holiday.”
It reminded us why sexual addiction is often called an intimacy disorder. True intimacy requires letting another person see the deep parts of our soul. It involves sharing every part of ourselves, without reserve, as we are allowed to see into the other person’s hopes, fears and desires. In a very real sense, we become emotionally naked and unashamed.
The secrets and shame of sexual addiction increasingly wall us off from those we care about. We are afraid (or never learn) to let people see our true selves. There is a distance between us and others that seem unbridgeable.
But . . . it is NOT unbridgeable. God wants you to experience the special joy and satisfaction that only comes with true intimacy. You are not too far gone. You are not incapable. The first part of sexual addiction recovery is to stop the unwanted behavior; the second is to increasingly move toward true emotional intimacy and healthy sexuality. Many who thought it was an absolute impossibility for them, are enjoying a new depth and freedom in all their relationships today, because of the restoration of God’s healing power.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Leave A Response