Sexual addiction is one of the most misunderstood of all compulsions. Even many professionals do not understand the root and treatment of sexual addiction.
Contrary to what it seems, sexual addiction is not really a thirst for sex at all . . . it is a thirst for God—for TRUE intimacy with the Creator AND His creation. The Bible says God made us to worship and have relationship with Him. Unfortunately, experiences in life can sometimes cause our ability to trust in people, and even God, to be compromised. We become too afraid to keep striving for the true intimacy that our heart yearns for. Instead, we attempt to substitute a false intimacy of our own creation—an illusion that we believe will give us what we need without having to risk the pain that we are convinced would come from daring to trust God and others.
If we discover that sexual activity numbs our fears and masks our internal pain, our brain tags it as being something that can make us feel “normal” again. When we experience pain or fear later on, our body remembers and starts to crave the very thing that diminished those feelings before. The more we choose the activity over running to God, the more ingrained it becomes. The activity becomes our idol—the thing that we rely on to get us through the hard times. As it gains more and more place in our hearts, we increasingly move away from the source of life toward the death that addiction brings.
Addiction is unique in that it destroys the whole person. Every aspect of our being (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social) is affected. As our thinking becomes increasingly distorted, sexually compulsive rituals can become synonymous with power (feeling in control), adequacy (feeling good enough) and love. But, no matter how much sex an addict gets, it is never enough to fill the void in their heart. Each encounter leaves them feeling even more empty and alone. Only God can bring an end to our restless searching to be filled—everything else will eventually let us down.
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